I had the most amazing opportunity when I was invited back to The Younique Foundation to share my story. The invitation to tell my story was literally something I prayed for after leaving the retreat last year. My goal is to continue on my healing journey, living life with Purpose, THRIVING and an Advocate for all Survivors.
I know I can fill in the small gaps by using my Voice and I hope to inspire others along the way. You are NOT alone 💜💜💜
Talking about sexual molestation and rape is not easy. But I am striving to change the stigma by sharing my own story and the journey. #NoMoreShame
I am so happy to share some of my journey, where I’ve been and one of my Biggest achievement! I launched my Business RoseGoldManagement.com
Have you ever taken the time to ask yourself, “Who are you?”
Somewhere along this journey called Life, I forgot who I was! I’ve mentioned this before briefly in my other posts. But I wanted to get more into this because I am going through a new transition in my personal life. I know I can’t move forward without diving deep down inside and finding the new me. It’s like saving yourself from emotionally drowning. No one can go through this discovery phase or save you but YOU.
A lot of times we just want someone, anyone, everyone to do all the work for us because we are stuck. Don’t be ashamed of feeling that way. That stuck feeling is the big “F” word, FEAR. Facing our fears can be so frightening that we would rather drown. I am scared to know myself because I disconnected from myself so long ago. It’s like when you first meet a stranger. A little awkward, not sure you can trust them, sometimes you feel invisible or we belittle ourselves subconsciously. Strangers are like new countries with a fascinating history and knowledge.
What if we gave ourselves a chance? Yes, you might feel like a stranger to yourself but through no fault of yours. We disconnected because of the trauma to survive. Reconnecting with yourself will be a beautiful journey. You may discover you are your own BFF (best friend forever).
Today’s a new day and I can’t imagine giving up a power that I can’t explain. What if this internal power I feel is an abundance of love for the little girl that was neglected so long ago and the woman I am becoming. I can’t let that power go because it belongs to me. But what I can release are those thoughts that try to control me.
When you think you don’t have much to give to anyone because your emotionally drowning. Invite them over to your “country” and give them the history and free yourself.
The simplest ways to live positive are acts of kindness!
“The good days are going to outweigh the bad days” – Petra Clarke
Learning what your fears are. You don’t always know what you fear and fear is not always noticeable. When you picture a person whose fearful, you think of a person verbally or physically acting out. However, fear that’s deep down inside of us; buried for a long time is not always recognizable. Why? Because we have gotten really good at masking our pain and fears, even from ourselves. Who would of thought that, right? My suggestion comes from my own self awareness that I am challenging myself with right at this moment as I am typing this post. One way is paying attention to your emotions and anxiety. Those are two big triggers… Okay, maybe that’s two things to pay attention to.
When your emotions get the best of you, boy do they really get the best of you. Especially if you’re a woman, because we generally experience higher levels of emotional stimulation than men. Fear can come out in emotional outbursts, racing heartbeat, needing to escape, feeling detached, feeling powerless, attitude, feeling overwhelmed, anxiety or panic attacks. Start by truly Loving yourself and pay attention to your body for the signs of havoc in your life. For example, feeling the need to escape is easy to ignore because it may be part of your “everyday” life now. You’ve become so use to burying those feeling alive. If, however, the subject of fear is vague and there is no clear escape, then a common alternative response is to deny the fear, pretending that it does not exist. You know I’m going to say this out of love. This is not a way to live, it’s not healthy for your soul and not fare to yourself either. I know you will benefit from these 3 small tips.
Understanding your triggers. Did you know that fear is related to anger? Fear can also morph into anger when the fight-or-flight reaction goes down. I seriously did not know that and it all makes sense now. Being on this path of healing, I am learning a lot daily. It’s important for me to share my “light bulb” moments because it’s not every day that I get to speak and share with others who can relate. I believe sharing is caring and I do truly care! A few common triggers for myself is being understood, order, respect, invading my comfort zone, consistency and being in control. I also compiled a list of some other common triggers which I hope will help you identify some of your triggers.
List of common triggers:
Be Treated Fairly
Start seeing fear as an opportunity. Fear can be used as a tool to help us identify problems and solve them effectively. It’s a guidepost, a red flag that warns us when something needs attention. Once the discomfort of the initial wave of fear passes, examine it more closely to see what you can learn. Maybe you fear failure, change, or something else that’s more difficult to pin down. Reflect on your fears and notice how much they affect your life. No matter what it is that scares you, learn how to acknowledge, confront, and take ownership of your fear so that nothing can hold you back in life. Realize that fear can be good, and acknowledge the positive and protective role it has. Courage can’t come into play unless you have a fear to face down. By owning your feelings you’ve taken the first step toward gaining control over the situation.
The Ugly, The Bad, The Good; becoming Greater!
HAPPY Wednesday everyone!
I’m going through a situation in my household at this moment and this statement couldn’t be anymore true. When I’m going through a hard time I can’t let the negativity of the outcome take over the situation. The moment I start to allow the way I look at the outcome, it does usually change my emotional state. Living with PTSD and depression I’ve come to the realization that my emotional health has to be a top priority. So I am making a choice to start trying to tell myself that no matter the outcome, it was a learning experience and it’s okay. I say “trying” because I know I’m going to have bad days and it’s not always going to be easy. However, I do know it will be worth it and training myself to do this will make it easier eventually. I’m no professional and I am literally learning one day at a time. This post marks my first day of “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn”.
Reaching for positivism in my life has really helped me tremendously. So I wanted to share a list of some great quotes that have help me get my day started.
Positive Words to live by:
Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
When the voices of doubt start whispering, turn-up the volume of faith and listen to your heart.
Sometimes you gotta forget what you “feel” and remember what you Deserve!
Sometimes telling the story is the thing that saves your life.
When you’re trying to motivate yourself. Appreciate the fact that you’re even thinking about making a change, and as you move forward, allow yourself to be good enough.
Your story could be the key that unlocks someone else’s prison. Don’t be afraid to share it.
Don’t count the days. Make the days count.
Believe in yourself & you will be Unstoppable.
Don’t wait until you’ve reached your goal to be proud of yourself. Be proud of every step you take toward reaching that goal.
Wake up everyday STRONGER than yesterday, face your fears and wipe your tears.
You have to fight through some bad days to earn the best days of your life.
F-E-A-R has two meanings; Forget Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours. – Zig Ziglar
You have a beautiful future because your ugly past didn’t kill you!
Don’t forget that you’re human. It’s okay to have a melt down. Just don’t unpack and live there. Cry it our and then refocus on where you are headed.
I’m obsessed with finding the best and sometimes just simple words that really put me in a good mood.
It’s been some time since I updated my blog and I sincerely apologize to anyone who visits. I have had some ups and downs since my last post. At the beginning of this journey, I was adamant to share my story and I still am. However, I have realized I need to pace myself because part of my PTSD can easily be triggered with remembering past events. I do know how important it is to “talk about it” so I’m not going to allow my PTSD to get in the way of my goal. I will continue to share my story, the struggles and everything I conquer!
I never realized that a person struggling with PTSD can also struggle with commitment issues. When you think of PTSD the main things that come to mind are; nightmares, anxiety, irritable, flashbacks, hard time sleeping to name a few. Right? I’m bringing this up for a reason, I’ll explain toward the end.
PTSD involves many symptoms that can and does interfere with relationships. I can say this to be 100% accurate because I live it daily. The main issues I have emotionally battled with myself are; emotional closeness, communication and responsible assertiveness. Whenever a conflict arises I respond to it from a sense of responsibility and my need for control. When this happens your significant other may feel controlled as a result. I am currently working on this because to be part of a relationship you need to focus on what you can do for each other. You know what this action does in return? You start to feel like your doing something productive and you feel joyful. It’s always… always the little things that can truly bring you joy. I recommend that you find ways to bring happiness and joy into your life. PTSD is going to keep sneaking back around. So when you set yourself up with goals of achieving things that make you happy. I know that it will help you on those dark dreaded days.
I am so extremely happy to announce I am getting married next month! Why am I sharing this news? Well it pertains to PTSD and my journey. This is where I explain my point about commitment issues. I have been engaged for almost 3 years. I am now able to truly understand why I was never in a “rush” to get married. It all boils down to “giving up control” If you have PTSD, you may not be aware of how your thoughts and beliefs have been affected by trauma. For instance, since the trauma you may feel a greater need to control your surroundings. That’s exactly what I have been doing with my relationship subconsciously. I am absolutely happy that I took this time to figure this out for myself. I wanted to be in a better head space and begin a path of healing. I can honestly say that this “healthy path” I am on has been worth everything that I have gone through. I feel like a better person and my heart is happy. When my heart is happy my emotions begin to match. Please watch my video “PTSD emotions not matching my brain” so you’ll understand the importance of being alert about your emotions.